What does it feel like to lose a friend

They are actually quite similar to the steps of death and dying.

1. Denial - creating arguments with yourself over reasons to try to keep this friend. Refusing to believe the relationship is not salvageable. What was it that made you such good friends in the first place? Focusing on how you could have that back again.
2 Anger - anger at being put in the position that you have to make a decision to cut a friend out of your life
3. Guilt - You know the relationship is over, but do they? You begin ending the relationship mentally, knowing that they have no idea why you are acting the way you are towards them.
4. Loneliness - You will mourn the loss of this friendship
5. Acceptance - Realizing the relationship is irrevocably lost... for good. And good riddance!

My personal story is that my work relationship with a friend ruined any personal relationship that we had. I blame work, but if I'm truly honest with myself the blame lies with the fact that we are in two very different places in our career and on our career path.

I still love her dearly. She turned me on to knitting. A practice I cherish. She is everything I am not; loud, outgoing, full of energy, able to think on a dime and spin a great story. Some of these qualities are what also makes it difficult for me to be around her.

But the straw was really work. She's hungry for money and power. She is not capable of going out for lunch without discussing work the entire time. She pushes people and not always in a good way. She thinks hers is the only right way and wants everyone to work for her.

I really can't stand to be around that. So while I will always cherish the fleeting friendship that we had I know it is truly over. I need no further evidence that the sweat I break out in whenever I'm trapped in an office meeting with her. My insides screaming to get me out of there! The fact that I never head to the elevators if I think she may end up in one with me. The fact that I refuse to attend all Friday lunch dates that have been established forever. My horror of horrors would be running into her in the bathroom... and being forced to speak. yes, it's over.